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Morning.
This is my 300th entry, whoo-hoo! So I thought I should write about something that matters. Well, you know, nothing that bad. But seriously. I want to address and issue that has affected me, and my life.
Sweettart addiction.
What is it? : Sweettarts are, and many movie-goers know, lethal when combined with bad popcorn and no drink. They are a magical substance, able to make the user go into a happy world, until someone takes their Sweettarts away. Or they run out. Either way, they become rather irritable and can't rest until they can have..one..last..Sweettart..
Who does "Sweettarts"? : Quite possibly the people you think are normal, just fine after they take that little purple (or green, red, yellow, orange, and blue) pill. But, PLEASE BEWARE: ADDICTS WHO DO NOT GET THEIR DAILY DOSE CAN BE EXTREMELY DANGEROUS. And of course, there are some people who hate Sweettarts, and they are..Well..they're just..that's a whole nother entry right there.
Preferred Color(s)? : The preferred color(s) of addicts is often red or blue, those being tasteee-yer and all.
OH MY GOOODNESS! I'm addicted! what the hell do I do?! : First of ALL, DON'T PANIC. There is no cure yet for Sweettart additions, no patch, no mouthwash, no nothing. In fact, all you can do is eat the yellow sweattarts, and your cravings will subside...for a few days. Your next choice is to live a life of no meaning without Sweettarts, or to run off to the store buy some.
Has anyone ever DIED because of a Sweettart addiction? : Umm..Not really? Oh, yeah, sorry. "We are not at liberty to say at this time."
Sweettart help line - 555-555-5555
(please call if you need any assitance)
...muah.
So, I pretty damn sure you learned something. Next time you pop a Sweettart, think about your friends, family..ok? Yes. I thought so...
Can I have a red one, then?!
Regards,
-Milky
(ps, this is, of course, a joke.)